It’s Been Awhile…

20 Mar

…since I went down the rabbit hole.  Months… I got so overwhelmed with everything that I just checked out and went into hiding. Anyone that knows me well enough knows that this is not uncommon. I just don’t usually go for this long – or go this dark.  I just got to a point where I just couldn’t. I turned off emails. I stopped blogging. For a minute, I stopped writing; I stopped painting. I just needed to regroup. Realign myself with the misaligned world. Laynee moved to Georgia. My numbers dropped drastically. Somewhere in all of that my computer crashed and I lost everything – I mean EVERYTHING – 2TB – about 13 years – worth of my art, writing, pictures – EVERYTHING.

And then the Winter passed and the sun began to come out again. The flowers started blooming. Laynee is still gone – but now getting married. My numbers are who knows where – but I won’t know what for another couple of months, yet. The hard drive that crashed is still sitting here on my desk with the hope that I might be able to recover it. I haven’t tried in earnest because as long as I don’t, there’s still the hope that it’s all still on there somehow. The four months worth of neglected email sits bulging in a folder yet to be sorted.

But I am poking my head back out into the sun. I’m getting there.  We’ll see.  It’s been so long, now, that it’s daunting. Blinding. Trying to adjust to to light and remember how to totter about. It feels like so much as changed. New beginnings. Old starts. As much as everything changes, it all stays the same and nothing old is new again.

Or something like it…



5 Responses to “It’s Been Awhile…”

  1. Tracey March 20, 2013 at 8:12 am #

    🙂 I know about disappearing. It does you well to reboot! To fresh starts!

  2. Mynx March 20, 2013 at 4:51 pm #

    Step one – open your email account
    Step two – mark all as “read”
    Or delete.
    Spring is new beginnings and new light so look forward
    Welcome back dearest

  3. joannerambling March 20, 2013 at 10:12 pm #

    If I had lost everything I think I would go crazy and cry and lot

  4. jhon baker March 22, 2013 at 10:53 am #

    We love you.

  5. lolamouse March 25, 2013 at 9:07 am #

    Finally found you! I’ve been wondering and worrying about you for months now.
    Figured you went “down” but still…So sorry about your computer. I’ll keep my fingers crossed for its retrieval. Love you.

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