Listening…

8 Dec

When this record came out, I didn’t like it one bit.  It was such a departure from her previous work.  It was on Mtv for crap’s sake!  I hated it.  This morning, though, I stumbled upon it looking for something else.  The whole damned record screams at me today.  It’s so the soundtrack for my journey…  I am really struggling right now.  With past demons.  With new demons.  With watching someone I care about make really piss-poor choices and for my own sake and sanity and well being I have to wash my hands of it, even though I am so close to it I can hear them breathe.  The path, right now, is dark and difficult.  So I really needed this record today.  One that really spoke to me this morning is below.  But see out the entire album, Paula Cole’s This Fire – from the opening fuck you track of Tiger to this song to Throwing Stones.  It’s good stuff.

 

I Am Not The Person Who Is Singing
I Am The Silent One Inside
I Am Not The One Who Laughs At People’s Jokes
I Just Pacify Their Egos
I Am Not My House Or My Car Or My Songs
They Are Only Just Stops Along My Way
I Am Like Winter
I’m A Dark Cold Female
With A Golden Ring Of Wisdom In My Cave

And It Is Me Who Is My Enemy
Me Who Beats Me Up
Me Who Makes The Monsters
Me Who Strips My Confidence

I Am Carrying My Voice
I Am Carrying My Heart
I Am Carrying My Rhythm
I Am Carrying My Prayers
But You Can’t Kill My Spirit
It’s Soaring And It’s Strong
Like A Mountain
I Go On And On
But When My Wings Are Folded
The Brightly Colored Moth
Blends Into The Dirt Into The Ground

And It’s Me Who’s Too Weak
And It’s Me Who’s Too Shy
To Ask For The Thing I Love
And It’s Me Who’s Too Weak
And It’s Me Who’s Too Shy
To Ask For The Thing I Love
That I Love

I Am Walking On The Bridge
I Am Over The Water
And I’m Scared As Hell
But I Know There’s Something Better
Yes I Know There’s Something
Yes I Know

I Know

That I Love

But It’s Me
And It’s Me
It’s Me

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3 Responses to “Listening…”

  1. artsygirl52 December 8, 2011 at 10:11 am #

    Excellent song and it kinda matches where I am too.

    • Rabbit December 8, 2011 at 10:13 am #

      You and I have always seemed to be on similar paths along our own separate journeys. I think that is why I connect with you so much. Often times while reading you, I am sitting nodding in agreement.

  2. Pam December 8, 2011 at 9:28 pm #

    Well I love the song. Once again, you bring me new music.

    I’m very sorry you are struggling with these things right now… I know that feeling of having to let go of a spiraling situation.

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