>I’m listening…

20 Jan


“Did someone complain that we weren’t learning something?”
I knew 2011 was to be monumental.  I just don’t know that I expected it to be so much so, so soon.  I am surrounded by a mad maze of muses, whispering, shouting, screaming, and seducing me from every shadow of my world.  My painted lady, my tender of geese, my moon mother and her magical child, my own child at heart – and so many, many others…
It’s been a giant pothole in the road of this journey of oh fuck no and I don’t want that, and it clicked yesterday that those No’s are actually blaring, glaring signs of Yes!  I don’t want this means I do want that.  Gone are my days of attention getting dances – antics to be adored.  I don’t need to be adored anymore.  I just need to be.  To let it be.  To create in my own soul and – finally – nurture those broken wings that have grown crippled inside me.  I am sick of the you’re so pretties and false appreciations that I so needed to feel complete.
I am complete.  The above quote rings so true.  I realized that I was the one complaining because I was blinding myself in my own chaos to the learning – to the knowlede – what beginning to feel whole feels like.
Learning to fly.  They say if you don’t know where you are going all roads will lead you there.  And my how they did.  The journey led me to this cold, snow laden runway from which it is now time to fly.  And you, each of you, are witness to it all and in many ways a part of that puzzle.
“…there was really nothing to it
I just went and cut right through it
I said ‘I’m gonna let him fly’ “