>A Leap Year

30 Nov

>

“Sometimes the only available transportation is a leap of faith.  So jump.”


I’ve been on this strange path of discovery lately.  This year has been so surreal that it’s almost beyond words.  (Note I said ‘almost’ because I am the queen of the ramble.)  From early in the year planning on moving back to New Orleans. To almost dying. To a month long hospital stay. To back home to heal (and live with my mother at 34 years old). It has afforded me many opportunities though that I might not have had otherwise.  It’s caused me to pause for once.  To take a deep breath and observe rather than running headlong and full force into a life I wasn’t really living.
The anniversary of my being cleaned came and went not long ago and it really struck me.  Then I couldn’t get through a day without getting fucked up…  If I wasn’t high, I didn’t want to exist.  Now I can’t imagine what it would be like again.  I have finally grown past the missing it phase.  It still comes and goes, I am not going to lie. But I don’t look back fondly any more at the “good old days.”  I almost allow myself to believe that the good old days are yet to come.  Even though they almost didn’t.  Thanksgiving was weird because it, too, almost wasn’t.  Had things gone differently this summer, I would haven’t had another Thanksgiving…
I am in a state of flux.  Transitioning.  I finished Art Swap.  I finished my 6th novel (my 5th for NaNoWriMo).  I am finally toying with the idea of doing something with them at last.  They do no good sitting in a box in a storage building.  Perhaps, one day, something will come of it.  I’m writing much more poetry these days.  More reflective.  More observational.  Resolutions and revelations.  It feels good.  It’s cathartic.  That, too, will hopefully be published soon.  I have someone interested.  Interested enough to keep hounding me about it.  Which is good.  Maybe I won’t self sabotage this one and crumble like I usually do.  I am planning on calling the (poetry) book November’s Monster, inspired by the old Morrissey song November Spawned a Monster.  Go give it a listen, I think you’ll understand.
Much painting and drawing and creating finally coming back as well.  Just about every holiday gift this year I am making – be it paintings or fashions or decorations.  It’s all a Rabbit original.  It’s time.  
So if the blog suffers, forgive me.  It’s just not where I am at right now.  I struggle to keep up with it; to make it worthwhile, so I’d rather pull back while it’s still good that have it jump shark and you all head for the hills.
But, I’ll be around….   I’m just a little busy jumping at the moment.
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20 Responses to “>A Leap Year”

  1. ThePeachy1 November 30, 2010 at 1:42 am #

    >You make me think of 10 Lords a leaping from the Christmas song. Even though you don't know me from Nicole Kidman ( since we look just alike) I wanted to tell you WTG on the life changes. ❤ ya

  2. Mustang Sally November 30, 2010 at 2:32 am #

    >Rabbit, you need to do what YOU need to do. Your blog is so good because it has been what you needed to creatively express the emotions churning inside you, to get where you are now. It sounds as though other things are now clamoring for their own voice, own form of expression. When that happens we sometimes have to change our focus for a time. As long as you remain real in what you write here, I don't believe the blog will suffer just because the posts are spaced farther apart. Be true to yourself, and to your dreams … the rest will fall into place.And if you desert us altogether … well then I'll have to hunt you down and bitch slap you, 'cuz I need my fix! 😉

  3. Mynx November 30, 2010 at 4:30 am #

    >I found myself smiling as I finished reading this post, certainly not because you might not be around much (I confess, that I look for your posts first when I open blogger)but because you seem to be looking out and forward. As Mustang Sally said, you need to be true to yourself. Don't worry about us, we will be here when you need us, but I will be joining MS in hunting you down, if you disappear completely. Hugs P.s pictures of the Rabbit originals might be nice.

  4. The Empress November 30, 2010 at 5:04 am #

    >It is wonderful that you have taken that leap and are reclaiming your creativity! The amount of artistic talent you have in your little pinky finger is more than most have churning about their entire body. Embrace it my friend. We will all be here happily waiting and cheering you from the sidelines. Much love!!

  5. Odie Langley November 30, 2010 at 6:33 am #

    >I agree Rabbit, stay real and keep expressing who you are and what you need to say. We appreciate your honesty and gut posts and will be here if you need to give attention eslewhere and come back to us. Don't do, just to be doing. That isn't you my friend.

  6. mel November 30, 2010 at 7:36 am #

    >oh, i'm so FREAKIN' happy for you…woot!!and there will be no self-sabotage — i will personally guarantee THAT…you'll be sorry we de-lurked…as to the blog thing – i hear that…it has to be what you want it to be and it has to serve *your* purpose…no point, otherwise..i know where to find you..xo

  7. Raven of the Green Mountains November 30, 2010 at 8:12 am #

    >Jump baby! I will be here when you come back down. 🙂

  8. Simple Dude November 30, 2010 at 9:03 am #

    >Mustang, Mynx and Empress all stated what I was thinking. It sounds like you are in a good place right now – creatively and otherwise. Keep it up and the blog will be here for your muse when you're ready for it.. and so will we!SD

  9. Mother's Moon's Message November 30, 2010 at 9:22 am #

    >this blog is but an extension of all it is that you do…. It may be quiet for times yet you will still be trudging onward which is what you should do…. Exiciting to hear that your words may soon be published… 🙂

  10. Nicki November 30, 2010 at 9:33 am #

    >Gah. Gorgeous post. Good for you for taking the time to reevaluate, to create, to discover. And LOVE the quote in the beginning.

  11. David Waters November 30, 2010 at 10:13 am #

    >live your life, we followers will still b here 🙂

  12. Lolamouse November 30, 2010 at 12:01 pm #

    >I agree-love the quote at the beginning. Yes, do whatever you need to do, just let us have an occasional peek now that you've got us all hooked! Don't know if you've heard of it, but Concord Free Press is a publishing company for "unusual" books to get noticed and circulated. Unfortunately, that's all you get; like it's name says, no one gets paid, but check it out, if not for your book(s) just for fun. It's a great idea. I have one of their books now.

  13. becca November 30, 2010 at 2:49 pm #

    >honey you have to do what's right for you and not others. and when you finally get published let me know i will be there to purchase a book and beg for an autograph

  14. FreeFlying November 30, 2010 at 5:30 pm #

    >I'm happy for you. And excited to see what you do. Because I know that it will be big.

  15. Kate November 30, 2010 at 5:59 pm #

    >And we'll be right here for whenever you have anything to share. =)You have had a seriously crazy year. It's wonderful that you are able to put your energies into creativity. Art, including writing, is such a special expression of what's inside.Kate x

  16. hed November 30, 2010 at 7:18 pm #

    >I was going to post exactly what Kate said-we'll all still be here when you have a moment or thought of brilliance that you choose to write down for all us willing to read followers!hed http://www.hedabovewater.com

  17. Marlene December 1, 2010 at 12:39 am #

    >I would MUCH rather see you out there enjoying what life has to offer than feeling any level of commitment to a blog! YOU GO!!! I'm so happy you have found some joy again!

  18. ~L December 1, 2010 at 1:35 am #

    >you amaze me more each day I know you.your light focuses and covers flaws.do you hear my cries of joy for you?tears not dropped because you walk beside me?a rabbit hops into my yard last year and I follow him into his hole…and warmly rest on his laurels and long for his words to excite me into prose and prayer…a life worth living is a journey worth traveling with art and soul and God's creatures…human kindness well received from miles away and years apart and worlds enmeshed by satellite…and the rabbit's hole grows into a warren the envy of all others.Cheers to your successes, completed and under construction. may God be with you Micael Chadwick Rabbit <3Lorraine

  19. Mrs. Hyde December 1, 2010 at 2:04 am #

    >Whatever makes you happy.

  20. Georgina Dollface December 1, 2010 at 9:19 am #

    >I'm so glad you have someone hounding you for your writing. The world needs your words. My throat clenched up a bit when you wrote about how you got through the summer and DID make it to celebrate another Thanksgiving. And soon, I am sure, we will be celebrating your book launch, your poetry reading, your art show opening… I'm really proud of you. – G

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