>Removing the Shit Stains from my Pretty, Pretty Princess Panties

15 Oct

>

I went through and gave Facebook a hearty (hardy?) Clorox and Razorblade enema the other day.  My “friends” list had spiraled out of control into some dirty whore’s little black book.  There were people on there I didn’t know, didn’t want to know, smelled like toe – friends, family, friends of friends of friend’s family’s friends.  The cess pool kept bubbling. So I went a little Red Queen and lobbed off quite a few heads and threw them back into whatever toilet they came from.  It’s amazing what you learn about your actual friends when you aren’t having to wade through the brigade of dumbfuckery’s Farmfuckers or Mafiaistic Vampires or Shuffled Statuses or Am I a Dumb Fucking Moron (yes) Quizzes.  Scrub. Scrub. Flush.  Buh-bye.
This morning I have been doing the same with my blogroll.  Where the fuck did some of this shit come from?  Was I drunk?  Had I smoked my shoes? Did I have a rare moment of niceness and feel pity for your dumb, illiterate ass and decide to at least be your one follower?  I’m must have fallen and hit my head. What the fuck?  There are blogs written entirely in italics.  There are blogs written in entirely lime green text.  My eyes are about gone AND I am colour blind. I can’t read that unnecessary horseshit.  It’s not cute, it’s just fucking annoying.  Ciao.  Then there are the ones that have so much CRAP piled into their sidebars it take 17 and a half hours for the page to load.  No one wants to feed your fucking  fish or read their horoscope or see a fucking kitten or give a ass fuck about what town you’re from or how many god damned sheep are in your flock or how many awards you have or how many fucking buttons you can smash onto your page.  They are there to read a blog.  That shit can be found elsewhere.  As can your blog (for me) now.  Don’t forget to write.  I think I deleted more blogs than I kept.  If I can’t, won’t, or don’t read them then why in fat tranny hell do I have them there.  I don’t know…

So yeah, I am bitchy again this morning.  Social media really tweaks my twat lately.  I won’t even get started on Twitter with all the stupid ass Follow Friday and hastags and trending bowel movements and snookie and Justin fucking Beeber (yes, I know I spelled it wrong, thanks) and #you’reallfuckingsheep.  ‘Nuff said?  Yeah.  I don’t need to know about people’s latest meal, shit, kid, cat, fat mama, bastard boyfriend, boss, crush, or STD every fucking five minutes.

Thank heavens for delete buttons.
Shall we see how many of you use that fucker on me?  
We’re at 94 readers now – let’s check back at the end of the day shall we?
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26 Responses to “>Removing the Shit Stains from my Pretty, Pretty Princess Panties”

  1. Jumble Mash October 15, 2010 at 8:34 am #

    >LMAO. You sound like me right now. I'm extremely cranky from lack-o-nicotine and I've been pretty much verbally bitch slapping everyone.

  2. The Empress October 15, 2010 at 8:34 am #

    >So, tell us how you really feel Rabbit! Tee hee, I still love ya! I do have a blog award trophy case on my blogsite but that is just as much about pimping the blogs of the people who gave me the awards as it is about me pimping my own. Plus some of the awards (like yours) are just effing awesome.As for "The Twatter", I still don't completely know how to use it properly. Mainly I just post smart-ass tweets or use it to whore out my blog. I only follow people who post funny or interesting tweets because like you, I don't give a rat's ass what the hell someone had for breakfast of if their cute doggy just took a dump. Take two cocktails and call me in the morning. Much love!http://rantersbox.blogspot.com

  3. Rabbit (Micael Chadwick) October 15, 2010 at 8:40 am #

    >JM – This is me WITH nicotine. Imagine me without. Then I am really a ray of fucking sunshine! I say slap away. And enjoy it!Empress – The difference being with your trophy case, as it were, is that you actually have blog/read worthy CONTENT on your blog!!! IMAGINE! Makes a hell of a difference when there is something there to actually read and thusly illustrate why you won said awards.

  4. Mrs. Hyde October 15, 2010 at 8:43 am #

    >If you cursed my fat, black mama, you still couldn't get rid of me.

  5. Nariane October 15, 2010 at 8:45 am #

    >I'll follow even if'n you cut meI loves me Rabbit logic, Rabbit snark, and Rabbit rage.

  6. Rabbit (Micael Chadwick) October 15, 2010 at 8:48 am #

    >Mrs. Hyde – I would never. I'm too scared you'd hunt me down and snatch me by my weave and punch me in my tit! Besides, I love you too much.Nariane – You've been with me too long to get cut. You're the one I'd borrow the knife FROM.

  7. Simple Dude October 15, 2010 at 9:39 am #

    >Brilliant post.. could not agree more. I have fallen into the trap of putting useless shit on my blog a couple times, only to go back and houseclean later. Hopefully my blog never becomes as cluttered as my life. And by the way… would someone please BON Rabbit (and his blog) already?!?!! what the fuck. SDhttp://simpledudecomplexworld.blogspot.com/

  8. Toni October 15, 2010 at 9:40 am #

    >I'm not sure which made me happier – this blog post (because I agree with pretty much all of it), or the fact that you didn't un-follow me. Either way, you made my day.

  9. FreeFlying October 15, 2010 at 9:45 am #

    >I'd be worried, but I'm pretty sure you never followed me in the first place. Which is fine because I rarely go anywhere anyways. http://operatingonrandom.blogspot.com

  10. Georgina Dollface October 15, 2010 at 9:49 am #

    >Clearing out the SM clutter is good every now and then. I've got a decluttering plan for this weekend, going to go through Twitter, FB, etc. I can't please everyone. – G

  11. mice_aliling October 15, 2010 at 10:18 am #

    >Amen to G! FB decluttering is really good. I do that 3 times a year. I'm not rude but when somebody adds me up, i would have to ask politely how I know him. Then i again politely decline…now for those blog awards that are piled up, uhm, i cannot relate at all as i only have one from you. haha. I've never FFed on twitter. sometimes i feel guilty bec some followers regularly FF me. The joys and pains of social media…thank you for the rant. I was just reading Abe's facebook rant earlier today 😛 http://ow.ly/2U5UR

  12. Lynne H. October 15, 2010 at 10:42 am #

    >Zang.. I better be nice and write you a poem a week or ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZIIIIIIIIIIIIPPPPPPPPPPPP..there goes Lynnie…I'm afraid to look now:-)

  13. Laugh. It's Life in Progress October 15, 2010 at 10:54 am #

    >LOVE IT! I did the purge on Facebook a month or so ago… I kept looking at the list going What in the freaking hell is this SHIT! When I had first started there, I added many many MANY people that I had gone to school with, 2 high schools that can be a lot of people, even in BFE Michigan. So I went through and said… hmmm haven't seen, heard or talked to THIS one in 15 years…they have NO idea who I really am, then OR now so *kick* buh bye! Honestly I get SUCH a kick out of being followed more for my blogging / ranting then anything just makes me ALL kinds of happy. And here I was using it just for my own business and therapeutic properties WHO KNEW! Thanks for the rant Rabbit… love to read them

  14. Nubian October 15, 2010 at 10:58 am #

    >and that I why I am having you spruce up my blog… this way the only person you can bitch at is yourself.I need to get my DD ass into gear and get working on my other blog. To quote Nariane ~ "I loves me Rabbit logic, Rabbit snark, and Rabbit rage."

  15. becca October 15, 2010 at 11:30 am #

    >LOL..well now that i know how much you love the whole social network thing i will make a point of #FF on twitter as often as possible just so you will know it's me :)ps forgot to tell you i make it a habit to try and annoy as many people in a given day as possible it's a gift of mine..lol

  16. Raven of the Green Mountains October 15, 2010 at 11:56 am #

    >I need to delete some of the blogs I read, but I am made of the dumb, at the moment. I know how you feel Rabbit. I went through a douching of my Facebook about a month ago. I like to have control over who the hell I want to be my friend, out on FaceBook.

  17. Adam October 15, 2010 at 12:48 pm #

    >I feel ya on the facebook front, I can't even count how many times I've had to go weed through my friends list. But as far as twitter goes… I mean, what did you expect when you signed up? Twitter is just text messaging the entire world about nothing.

  18. Marlene October 15, 2010 at 3:04 pm #

    >Oh I totally agree…I've cut some shit out of my facebook page, too. There are a few I'd LOVE to cut…but I keep 'em on so I can snicker at their inane wall posts. ;)Yes, I am quietly evil. C'est la vie.

  19. Jumble Mash October 15, 2010 at 3:24 pm #

    >I have given you an award 🙂Enjoy!

  20. RawknRobynsGoneBlogWild October 15, 2010 at 3:24 pm #

    >I'm sticking around for more of your outbursts (assuming I'm not deleted). This is good stuff. I think we all have those stupid moments of smoking our shoes, before realizing it's time to clear out the shit. I couldn't have said it less poetically myself.xoRobyn

  21. Lovesick Fool October 15, 2010 at 7:30 pm #

    >Just started following you now and not leaving any time soon. This is wonderful stuff.

  22. gayle October 15, 2010 at 9:45 pm #

    >I know what you mean about facebook~ like we really care that they are taking naps and eating cake!!! and this from people my age!!

  23. StephanieC October 15, 2010 at 10:33 pm #

    >Wowsa… so this is my first post reading here. You seem… slightly irritable today.And now I am all self-conscious about what is down the side of my blog.But fuck man… I have content! And I can spell! And my mom says I am good… so that HAS to be true, right? RIGHT Rabbit?I think I sort of fear you…I'm interested to know if you think my site is shit.

  24. becca October 16, 2010 at 10:32 am #

    >so wanted to spread the blog love so here's an award for u :)http://becca-mycrazystuff.blogspot.com/2010/10/versatile-blogger.html

  25. holly October 16, 2010 at 5:02 pm #

    >I cut all the losers off my Facebook page too only to get them whining to me about why did I defriend them? As if it weren't obvious by their sniveling patheticness.

  26. Mynx October 17, 2010 at 6:44 am #

    >Blogs I follow, follow you,so I followed them here. I like what I have seen so far, seems they have good taste. Come visit sometime, I've been told I write a good story or two.http://just-tish.blogspot.com/ http://mynxxx.blogspot.com/

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