>In Six…

25 Sep


Does anyone have an enormous cork?
So I can plug up my dog? Harlie is in heat. We are suffering the height of Harlie’s heat. The rest of the dogs have gone bat shit street rat dog humpin’ butt fuckin’ CRAZY. Winston (not fixed) has turned into Dr. Jeckyll Psychofuck Get Away from My Bitch & Mr. Hyde Whiney Ass Gimme Some. The other four (fixed) just wander about aimlessly after her and try to randomly bone her in the eye. I, on the other hand, am about to lose what is left of my congealed pudding of a mind. I have never had a female dog before. I have never experienced a female dog in heat. I have never experienced male dogs around a female dog in heat. It’s enough to drive you to drink, smoke your shoes, and volunteer yourself for unPETA friendly lab experiments in which you share a cage with a methed out monkey fucking a football – quietly.
Just shoot me – or the dog, preferably one of the horny ones.
By this time next week I may be the one who has gone bat shit street rat dog humpin’ butt fuckin’ crazy.  I’ll be the one in the rain barrel going “abub bub bub bub bub bub.”  You can throw peas.
[To participate in Six Words Saturday, head over to Cate’s place at Show My Face.]

P.S. Don’t forget to enter to win FREE HEAD!

9 Responses to “>In Six…”

  1. The Ranter's Box September 25, 2010 at 2:27 am #

    >OMG. I am at a total loss for words!xo The Empresshttp://rantersbox.blogspot.com

  2. Simple Dude September 25, 2010 at 8:54 am #

    >First off congrats on the Empress award, I was fortunate enough to earn one as well. Bitch be Trippin'…. Bitch Better Have My Money. Ok, thats the only urban slang I could come up with quickly to describe your 'bitch' problem, and they are pretty bad. Should I erase and start over.. or hit 'post comment'.. what to do.SDhttp://simpledudecomplexworld.blogspot.com/

  3. Jazzbumpa September 25, 2010 at 9:32 am #

    >Hey – show some sympathy for the dogs.They're only human, you know.Cheers!JzB

  4. peace lily September 25, 2010 at 10:22 am #

    >Mine are all "fixed" so we don't deal with those issues, which is very nice! My advice? If ya ain't gonna breed 'em, take 'em to the vet for a snip and you'll have a happier pet-life from there on out!

  5. holly September 25, 2010 at 4:26 pm #

    >I read your six words much too fast: I thought you said, "Does anyone have an enormous cock?" and I thought, "that bastard stole my six words!"

  6. Kaylen September 25, 2010 at 10:08 pm #

    >yeah, I actually read the title as cock also….and then saw the picture and my mind saw what my mind thought it was going to see!!! Yikes! :)I've never been a dog person, but I have seen someone who breeds dog put a little pair of panties on her girl dog and thought it was the most ridiculous thing in the entire world–but maybe not?

  7. Toni September 26, 2010 at 8:52 am #

    >BAHAHAHAHAHAHA! It is hell when a bitch goes in heat…especially when they are in a house…close to each other. You are in dirty, dog-fucking hell! Sorry but it is kind of funny 🙂

  8. mice_aliling September 26, 2010 at 9:06 pm #

    >hahaha. Rabbit, I have a friend who's female dog was in heat. Every time she sees me, she humps on my leg endlessly. I tried pretending to sleep and she would cry. I tried pulling my leg up and she would cry again. She never stopped. Now the bitch has 2 bitches 🙂

  9. Susan October 8, 2010 at 1:43 am #

    >Yea, …good Fing luck with them! never fun, are you going to breed her, if not get her fixed. Seriously un-fixed, and un-breed female dogs are ripe for getting nasty uterine infections, that can be fatal. (just barely saved my dog several years back, she needed an emergency hysto).Fun blog, BTW. I came here looking for your Practical Magic post…but there wasn't one. Oh well, what i found was interesting and relevant, so I am now following.Peace,Susan

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