WTF? | Best of Craigslist

19 Aug
I found Best of Craigslist through another Blogger and am now like Whitney waiting for Bobby to get back from the hood. Addicted. It never ceases to amaze me what people do in their own little bubble – and then the bags of whack post such endeavors online for all the world to point and laugh at. Scary thought is: someone probably answered most of these adds with their own inane brand of what-the-fuckery.  Here’s one of the tamer ones (it was a toss up between this and the open letter to the beaded woman that shit her pants while in line at Comcast…  decisions.  decisions.)
(The title alone is priceless:) Zombie hunting SWF seeking kick ass partner
SWF seeks SWM who enjoys farming, zoo keeping and serious preparation for zombie invasion for friendship, LTR and possible marriage. Must be willing to wear a kilt and own his own broadsword.
Must be down to earth kind of guy, no prior convictions, not subject to any criminal investigations. I will look you up on the state access database so don’t bother lying about it. Am D/D free, you be too
Must hold liberal political views, while still supporting gun ownership, hunting and private land rights.
No racists, homophobes, or fundamentalists. No Jehova Witnesses or Mormons.
Must love dogs and be approved by my dogs. Must be able to ride a horse and allow me to spend large amounts of time with my animals without complaint. Must take me fishing and buy me a pint now and then. You can go out with your buddies too, I am not the jealous sort. But, you better be home each night in case the zombie invasion begins.
I am a strong, intelligent country woman who can drive anything, haul 10 gallons of water to animals at a time, butcher a deer and run a trot line. Country folk will survive.
Can you imagine all the pocket protectors that sprung erect over this one?  I shudder to think about all the twat rockets that answered this one.
All things considered, at least I am not that.

13 Responses to “WTF? | Best of Craigslist”

  1. G.D. August 19, 2010 at 8:52 am #

    There's someone out there for everyone I suppose. And when the world crumbles and the only beings that survive are zombies and zombie slayers, they'll be as cozy as two peas in a bombshelter. *sigh* So romantic! – G

  2. Pat Tillett August 19, 2010 at 9:32 am #

    Wow! you are right, that was really strange. Well, all but the Zombie invasion part…

  3. Kate August 19, 2010 at 10:24 am #

    Haha! I just found this one (only funny if you like Paul Simon – if not, don't bother):


    Kate x

  4. August 19, 2010 at 10:38 am #

    Kate – I think that's better than the zombie slayer! I guess everyone is just searchin' for their own Betty out there. Great find! (But now I have the damned song stuck in my head!!!!)

  5. Jane August 19, 2010 at 11:51 am #

    Christ, that's scary shit. Years ago I got on Match and some of the creepiest men responded. The best were the 75 year old men from Alaska and West Virginia who were ready and willing to relocate here to raise my kids. Thank God I'm so selective…LOL!!!

  6. Marlene August 19, 2010 at 2:26 pm #

    Thanks for the giggles! Is this going to be a regular feature here? I hope so! (hint hint)

  7. Bukowski's Basement August 19, 2010 at 5:05 pm #

    There's all types out there, huh? Scary, man, scary…

  8. holly August 19, 2010 at 5:33 pm #

    atleast she wasn't too specific. that would have set her up for failure.

  9. Mystz August 19, 2010 at 6:09 pm #

    Uhh yup! I can just hear the barrel cocking kilt wearing you be free of D/D too right!

    I think you stumbled onto a good thing here dear Rabbit 🙂

  10. ~L August 19, 2010 at 11:57 pm #

    thanks for the kicks and giggles tonight dear friend…luv and peace ~L

  11. Nariane August 20, 2010 at 8:58 am #

    Can't blame the gal! Ads have to be very specific, otherwise you get all sorts of weirdos applying.
    You can't get what you want unless you ask for it.
    This woman knows what she wants.
    She might also be slightly insane.
    No harm there. ;P

  12. gayle August 21, 2010 at 9:28 pm #

    It never fails to amaze me how weird some people are!!

  13. Charles August 24, 2010 at 5:38 pm #

    Hey goddamnit!

    I answered that post and spent two wonderful summers with that lass. They were beautiful. The zombies never came, but the target practice was fun anyway.

    Don't make fun of my long lost love.

Comments are closed.